December 2018 was a month that had a huge bearing on my life. October of that year, I traveled to North America on a project. It was a journey undertaken with a lack of interest. No, I must say with a large amount of lack of interest. Not that the work was boring. In fact it was a great piece of work and a great set of clients I went to meet. However the joy of visiting a new city in NA was missing. Interestingly enough i had gone to Dallas and that was one of the cities i wanted to visit thanks to a lot of Louis L ’Amour and J.T. Edson in my formative years. However, landing in Dallas did not make my eyes agog and breath go gasping. I had a feeling of having lost something in those weeks that i was there.
It also proved to be a time where i spent weekends ruminating about what i am doing and what i wanted to do. I guess, in all our lives there comes a time where we tend to look back and discover that our paths are at a point of divergence. To me this happened in Dallas. The road that i walked on till then was rich with growth and learning. It was filled with a lot of experiences, a lot of knowledge and to me seemed full and enriching. The road in front of me forked. One had a lot of fruits hanging on trees, easy to grasp but they were the same set of fruits. Just that they were bigger in size if you know what i mean. The other road was a bit darker to look at, but there was a whole host of fruits hanging. It was just that they were not apples, but they were still very colorful and waiting to be plucked at.
I also discovered a sense of loss at that point in time. I could not put by finger on it, but it was one of those things that tugged at your heart, left you a little bit bereft and told a story which was rich but still missing something. I knew then that i had to do something. It was time to change what i was doing and recover the passion that was missing. So onward and about i went and took a big leap. It was a leap in a different direction and i landed into a different court playing a very different game. As i took this leap, one thought crossed my mind. How does on make such a different move where paradigms and work have shifted from the normal and where age becomes a big factor. Some of these questions remain unanswered, but some had answers too.
BE A CHILD – If you have children you know what i am talking about. A child is probably the most inquisitive being short of a cat. A child never stops asking questions. One needs to remember this. Questions are the bulwark of change. Without questions, how much ever you try to transform you will never be successful. Ask questions. I had a senior colleague in my organization who did this. For every project which got kick started, he would have 30 mandatory questions of which 20 would be run of the mill. The answers were there for all to see. But the other 10 were questions which made the team members open up their mind and look at the project with a completely different view.
CONTINUE TO BE A CHILD – As we grow older, we start losing the ability to take big risks. We still continue to take risks, but now it is measured and it is not the real big ones. What drives us to change our behavior in such a way. It is all about fear. We are in a stage where fear wraps us to a certain extent and reduces our ability to open and let go. Again, look at your child. Till the time you tell him or her that jumping from the table to the ground might hurt them, they have no idea and they will continue to do it. At some point of time, you have to let go and jump out of the ledge.
PASSION TO LEARN – The key to any successful transformation is to have a passion in anything you do. Remember the time you were a kid and you played football or soccer as it called on the other side. I am sure some of us were more than ready to play at any time and continue through dusk into the night time. I remember as a teenager, my life revolved around playing football. I would finish up school, rush for a meal or sometimes forget the meal and hit the field. Similarly the other thing that kept me ticking was the stars. I would spend hours together sitting with the astro chart from Hindu and gaze up into the sky every night. One needs to have a kind of passion
KEEP AN OPEN MIND – A lot of us who go through such transitions approach it with an amount of fear and trepidation. Some of us cross over to the other side while some of us stagnate. We ruminate about our past, how our expectations are and how did the change meet them or not meet them. Unfortunately for us, we end up digging a pit which just manages to go deeper and deeper. Always keep an open mind. Sometimes things don't work out the way you planned. And when that happens the story has always been to take the bull by its horns and shake things loose. I don't believe in that approach. All of us are individuals and just like the fact that our eyes are distinct our reactions too are. I believe that if it does not work out, keep in mind that you have to have given your 100%, then it is time for you to take the tougher call. And therefore, you need to have an open mind.
YOU AND YOURSELF – Finally, it is a question within you that you need to answer and it is you who have to take the action. Further, you have to be solely responsible for the actions you take. It cannot be any other way
I am now again at a contemplative phase, but now more than ever the clarity is much more and the path is more clearer
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